Spoiler warning. Blah, blah, blah. I couldn't think of a cute and clever title for this one, so whatever. Anyway, this is my Survivor: One World ranking. I think this season was pretty humorous, to be honest. There were so many people worthy of hate that I think the editors did a good job of making some of those blah/awful characters turn around later on and actually be somewhat likable compared to those that just got worse and worse.
18. Dan - I have so much to say about how awful this guy is. He was a trainwreck in the worst possible way. He tried WAY too hard. Nothing that came out of his mouth sounded genuine. He sounded rehearsed like he had been waiting to say everything he said for a very long time, and he talked way too much. Saying "Absolutely", "Totally", and "Of course" at all of the challenges was obnoxious. Could he not just say, "Yes"? If he thought his little facial expressions were going to win anyone over, he is sadly mistaken. They were dumb and also looked rehearsed. Besides, he isn't cute enough to pull off a Morgan McLeod or a Katie Hanson. Also, his whole comparison between his adoption to Shirin's life was vomit-inducing. This is a guy who praised his adoptive father in his bio. He has a family support system. As someone with a supportive adoptive family, I couldn't imagine going on national television and comparing my adoptive family to someone who had no immediate family to support her. He made the people he looked up to growing up seem less important than they are, and I found that offensive. Not all adopted children have it so lucky. I guess he gets some kudos for final tribal council. I wanted him to shut up, but he made Mike happy by accepting his apology...so...there's that.
17. Max - So glad he isn't coming back! He was Shirin's #2 back when they were both annoying, so he doesn't get any credit for being a close ally to her. He was a "production fave", so of course I'd hate him. He knew so much about Survivor past that he didn't play in the present. I think he was overwhelmed. His social game sucked. He wasn't fun to watch. So glad he left early because having him and Dan together for too long would've been way too much for me to stomach.
16. Will - Okay, so here's the thing... I am super sure that Will's a great guy in real life. I'm also sure that he was a great guy on the show and made lots of friends. I think he got the shaft in the edit with the whole Shirin blow-up, so he sits here. That was one HUGE lapse in judgment on his part, and he'll never live it down. I feel bad for the guy, but since that's really all I got, that's why he sits this low. He did have his charming moments, and the placing of the final immunity necklace was cute.
15. Tyler - I think it's funny that there was a time in which a lot of people thought he could win, and the more they believed it was possible, the more I was worried that it would happen. Thank God that wasn't the case because this dude was boring as hell. Even him going through someone's bag wasn't fun.
14. Nina - She's deaf.
13. So - This girl is so unlucky. She was supposed to take part in BvW2, but she was taken out right before filming. Then, she is invited back just to be eliminated first. This girl has worse luck than Francesca.
12. Kelly - When making this list, I couldn't remember why I liked her, so I had to drop her two spots. She busted her head open, and the challenge that was thrown for her to win was made hilarious because of her. Other than that, she was shown very little love. Poor thing got idoled.
11. Sierra - Okay, Sierra was okay, but I was extremely disappointed in her inability to make moves. She was the one person I was rooting for to make a difference and change the course of the game, and she never did it. She was so scared and meek, and for someone that was SO upset with Dan, she stuck with him for freaking ever. Mike never really even turned on her. Out of all the blue collars, he was probably the one nicest to her besides Lindsey. Such a disappointment. Her barrel rolling was great though.
10. Joe - He has a lot of fans, so I may get flack for this, but I thought he was kinda boring? I mean, I'm glad that he was taken out because this dude was a little too perfect for my liking. He did everything right. He was eliminated because otherwise he'd go on an immunity run. Frankly, I don't think he played that intelligently. He was just a nice, handsome guy, so everyone jumped on his dick. He wasn't awful though, and I think his personality is awesome. Lots of fun. Good spirit. Just too perfect for tv.
09. Joaquin - I was so bummed when he was given the boot! He was a little boring and monotonous, but I found his commentary sassy but playful? I don't know, I think he had a lot more potential that wasn't shown, and it made me resent Rodney even more for forming a bromance with Joaquin and ruining it.
08. Vince - He was creepy and weird, but I found it pretty funny for two episodes. Jenn's commentary about Vince boosted his stock a good bit because it made everything more comical and less psychotic. I think his immediate jealousy of Joe was hilarious but pretty justifiable because Joe was this season's golden boy. He took his jealousy to a bit of an extreme by claiming Jenn like she was territory. Also, I was amazed by how quickly he attempted to form a showmance.
07. Carolyn - I almost regret not voting for her in the Second Chance poll. I just didn't care for her until the last few episodes. She started growing on me, but she was still a bit of a sheep. She only joined Mike because he won immunities and not because she wanted to separate herself from Rodney's alliance and make big moves. However, when she idoled Dan...oh...my...god. That was a great feeling. Her fire battle with Rodney was also great. I was rooting for her at that point, and I'm glad she pulled through.
06. Jenn - Sorry, she isn't in my top 5. I loved Jenn, and I liked what she brought to the table, but I think she said more in confessionals than she actually did at camp to the others' faces. She isolated herself and turned herself into a lone wolf once Hali got the boot. She did make the Joe vs. her vote kinda interesting because I didn't know who would go between them, and I liked that she was able to look past Shirin's oddness and accept her. Still, she was just the one with the one-liners. Not worthy of the top 5, but she did have some great one-liners. Also, her jury speech seemed stale. I kinda hate how speaking to the jury has become a thing that one huge character must do every season.
05. Rodney - Yeah, I hated him, but damn was he fun to hate! This is why he's higher than some of the others. He was one of the biggest whiners we've ever seen, and his birthday episode was just as funny as it was difficult to watch. I can appreciate Rodney for what he brought to the table, and had Mike been eliminated at any point after the merge, I have a strong feeling Rodney could've won it. I think he actually played really well in spite of his bad attitude. I think it showed the power of his social ability, in fact, to go on the tirades he did and still come out with people supporting him.
04. Lindsey - Pre-merge bae. I loved her. She was a firecracker and didn't care about stirring the pot, but she was also super likable and fun. I loved her confidence when it came to speaking out and saying what was on her mind, and I don't think any of it was inappropriate or unwarranted outside of the God-bashing. I wanted her to last MUCH longer because she was simply more fun than Sierra, and I think this was part of the reason why I found Sierra so disappointing because I wanted some of Lindsey to rub off on her. It didn't. Ugh. Lindsey didn't even get to speak at the finale when she's the one that battled with her tribe's misogyny first.
03. Hali - A ray of sunshine among dark clouds. I was pretty crushed to see Hali go before Jenn. I think she had a lot of great commentary in her confessionals. Her Ponderosa was super fun, but the BEST thing about Hali was her ability to open her mind. She was the one that took Shirin in and said, "Hey, you're annoying as fuck, but we can help you fit in." She didn't say it like that, but that's the gist. She saw the good in everybody, even Nina. I loved that she was a vote against Will when Nina was booted because it showed that she was willing to give Nina a chance. Her rebuttal to Dan's "flippers never win" was also cute. She's just a genuine person with a good heart. Too bad her eye was messed up at Ponderosa. Bless her. Still gorgeous.
02. Mike - Our hero. This season was full-on Mike. He's like the positive version of Tony because he screwed up...A LOT. I don't usually like it when players win because they won immunity, but I can't fault him for doing what he had to do. I thought was socially inept, but he was also kind of adorable at the same time. I felt for him when he cried because editing simply did a good job of making me put myself in his shoes. His actions at the auction were shocking, and his idol fake out was well-played. He was also my favorite in the very beginning after eating a scorpion and befriending Dan when others shunned him. Another guy with a good heart. OH! And his voice was the best thing ever because it changed every second! I STILL don't know for sure what he regular speaking voice sounds like. It's pretty incredible. Like when he'd go from tough and raspy to full on froggy... I just love his voice. It intrigues me.
01. Shirin - Post-merge bae. Her story was one of the more interesting ones that I've ever seen. I loved how bit by bit, people slowly began to accept her both in and out of the game. First, she messes up the immunity challenge but is spared because she is seen as someone who at least tries and is accepted. Then she befriends Max. Then she becomes super annoying. Then Max leaves but Hali brings her in. Then Jenn warms up to her. Then Mike rescues her. What a roller coaster! I enjoyed her enthusiasm, and even when she was annoying, she never really annoyed me. I thought she was hilarious in the beginning just to feel so much sympathy for her because of her life and what she's had to deal with. The only fault with Shirin is that I think she focused on the abuse so much after it resurfaced. Will stole her spark for a bit, and that sucked. Still, what an amazing person. I can't wait to see her in action again on Second Chances!!